To Hold Your Hand
by VonSchweetz
Summary: Sometimes the worst things in life can bring together something beautiful.  F/F Pairings.
1. Prologue

'_**To hold your hand.'**_

"_Pandora is my home, always has been, always will be. Eywa will provide for me, no matter what I feel in my heart. I know that now."_

_**Prologue **_

I guess I always knew, or at least a small part of me knew. I was different to all of the other females. Physically, I was healthy, just like the others but mentally, I knew...

She was beautiful, I knew that much. But I also knew that what I was thinking wasn't normal, wasn't accepted; wasn't they way of the people. At first it was minor thoughts, little things. Like that way she smiled, the way she walked. But it soon grew to much more than that. I knew it was wrong.

Females of the tribe were getting chosen as mates before Eywa and everyone grew so excited, except for me. She wondered why you know, she asked me about it, but I never gave her answers. Reisuke was too curious for her own good, she thought me bottling up my thoughts was bad, but I did it for a reason. One day I just cracked and gave her an answer. She asked why I wasn't interested in any males… Well, I replied… It was short and sweet. _'I want a female.'_

**- Maybe I shouldn't have been so direct. Maybe I shouldn't have told her at all. But something inside me just snapped. I wanted her to know, I didn't want to lie anymore. I wanted her to know that I watched her sleep, and that I loved her smile, and that I wanted to kiss her soft beautiful face - **

Her first reaction was one of shock. How does one go about hearing something, something so unheard of, like this? It just wasn't normal. Reisuke didn't understand, never would understand what I felt for her, I knew that the second I saw her reaction. My hopes fell down, and were drowning at my feet. She wasn't like me… No one was like me**.**

**- I was alone**. -

Thankfully Reisuke didn't tell anyone about what I'd said. She preferred to leave me alone, not to speak to me… And as much as that hurt, it was probably **for the best.**


	2. Chapter One

'To Hold Your Hand'

**Chapter One **

_Chapter dedicated to Sam (Kevin.)_

Ku'yah wasn't born under a tribe, or a group. She was abandoned at birth, something almost unheard of in na'vi culture. It was seen as an act of fear, a loss in faith. She was taken in by an elder, who introduced her as his own child. He never told anyone this though, even when asked by his own mate. He simply replied that Eywa had given her to him, and would never answer anything more on the subject.

This wasn't enough for some people, including Ku'yah herself. She continued to call him her father, but deep down she knew that he wasn't her flesh and blood and that she wasn't part of the clan she grew up in.

As Ku'yah grew she made many friends, and loved all of her clan… But she always chose to be with Reisuke if it came down to choice. Everyone just thought that the two of them were really close, as close as friends could be. No one questioned it, except for Ku'yah herself… She always felt like something wasn't right. One night, it became obvious to her that very soon she'd have to tell her friend the truth about her feelings.

It was night time, the bioluminescence shone over the planet of Pandora like a dim flash light. Everyone was sleeping, and everything was silent, apart from the distant growl from creatures of the night. Ku'yah wasn't asleep, she was sat down thinking. She tried to sleep, really she did, but it was impossible. Reisuke was inches away from her, sleeping. Ku'yah sighed as she stared at her, and gently inched forward. She looked around her, to make sure no one was watching and gently brushed her hand over Reisuke's face. She sat there silently for almost a minute, just feeling her soft blue cheek. Then, almost uncontrollably Ku'yah lent in almost brushing her lips with Reisuke's when… She stopped, and pulled back. This was wrong, it was really wrong. She shouldn't be doing this! It wasn't normal… Wasn't natural!

That night, Ku'yah sobbed herself to sleep. This wasn't how it was meant to be. Eywa was the one who controlled everything, gave you the energy to control your life, gave you your love, and then eventually you had to give it back. Eywa made her want to love females; it gave her the ability to love females, but in doing so made her feel like an exile in her own home.

Three months after Ku'yah told Reisuke about her 'preferences' things around her clan started to change. Slowly it seemed as if no one was talking to her anymore. It seemed like the whole group had suddenly turned over and refused to acknowledge it. When asking her father he just smiled and said she was imagining it. But deep down, Ku'yah knew the truth. Reisuke must have spoken out, must have told everyone. In hushed voices around the clan Ku'yah heard them talking about it, heard them whispering, almost taunting her. Apparently Reisuke was going to tell the whole clan the next day, she was going to tell everyone exactly what she had said. It was going to wreck everything.

Why? Was the only thought going through Ku'yah's head. Why would she do something so evil? Ku'yah had simply told Reisuke an answer to her question, but that one answer was set to drive her out of her life.

You may have heard that the na'vi don't even have a word for lie. This isn't true. They have a word, but it's never spoken aloud. It's so vile. Those within a clan have never lied to each other, never hurt each other. It's only when clans mixed that problems arose… And as much as Ku'yah's 'father' tried to convince everyone that she was his daughter, everyone knew deep down that she was from another. She wasn't one of them.

Ku'yah's plan was simple. When Reisuke stood to tell everyone at dinner, she wouldn't let Reisuke speak, she'd but in and mention that she was going away, leaving the clan. If Reisuke had a shred of self respect she'd let her walk away without ruining her reputation.

That day, Ku'yah did eventually see Reisuke, who looked at her for a split second and then turned away… If she hadn't seen Reisuke looking it would have seemed as if she'd never looked at all.

"Reisuke…" Ku'yah hissed silently, trying as hard as possible not to draw attention to herself. Reisuke turned and glanced at her before jolting away. Ku'yah followed suit and soon caught up.

"Why are you doing this Reisuke?" she growled "Why are you telling everyone? I thought you wouldn't! I thought you at least felt some bit of compassion!"

Reisuke stood there in silence, and simply stared at the ground. "Why won't you tell me Reisuke? What have I done to deserve this besides be a little bit different? It's not hurting anyone; I haven't even done anything yet!"

Once again Reisuke said nothing; instead she looked up at Ku'yah and then looked away.

"I'm sorry…" she said, her voice filled with anguish, "But everyone has to know, they would have found out anyway Ku'yah… You know…"

Reisuke knew she was right, it was only a matter of time until she was going to be chosen as a mate by one of the tribe. Everyone was chosen eventually, Eywa always tried to make sure they were perfect matches… But that was impossible for her! They'd notice that something was wrong, that she didn't want to be some male's mate…

"Want to know my opinion Ku'yah?" whispered Reisuke quietly, almost as if she was afraid of suggesting what she spoke of. "You should run away, run far, and never come back. Living alone is better than living here, hiding away until your secret explodes and hits everyone around you."

**I left that day, I left 'my' tribe, I left the place I had lived my life. I never spoke to anyone before leaving. I ran, just as Reisuke said. I realized at that moment, she wasn't trying to hurt me. Just make it easier for me to leave, make it easier for me to understand. It's a shame I never saw her again.**

**NOTE FROM AUTHOR: THIS CHAPTER WAS LEADING UP TO THE MAIN STORY. THE REAL FUN COMES WITH CHAPTER TWO **


End file.
